Derby Night!

Last night was Pinewood derby night for the older boy's Cub Scout den. This is always a time of much stress in the house. For the boys, as they would love nothing more than to show up their friends. And for me, as I am the lucky guy who runs this event.

Historically, the boys have not fared well in this activity. Last year there were 33 cars in the race. Denis ended up in 32nd place. Liam did somewhat better, all the way up in 26th. There should be no reason to complain about this. We did our cars in one evening (the one before the race, naturally). We spent all our time cutting and sanding that there was no time for speed tricks (if we knew any). And while there was no reason to complain, that sure didn't stop Denis. He was very upset. In tears at one point (after his third straight 3rd place finish).

I was determined to do better this year. And how would any good father address this challenge? With a trip to the hardware store, of course! Over $100 of tools later, and suddenly we were in business. I got a Dremel, some new hacksaw blades, hobbyist metal file, and a few other odds and ends. And we started early on the cars. Not exactly the day we got them, in early December. And not exactly during Christmas break as we had thought. Well, Wednesday night, actually. But this was still an entire day earlier than last year!

And the Dremel came with a DVD with some helpful tips. Naturally, as with most construction projects, when they are presented the tips sound like the simplest things in the world. Doing them? Another matter entirely. Still, we used the idea of drawing out the design and tracing it on the wood black for cutting guidance. And I learned how to smooth the wheels and axles. So not a total waste.

The construction was pretty straightforward - this is our 3rd year after all. And you could tell the go-fast tricks really helped. Liam brought down last year's car. We spun the wheel. It went around 4 or 5 times and stopped. No wonder it was slow! Then we spun a wheel on the new car. Oh my! You couldn't even count the rotations. The improvement was incredible. I started to foster some hopes, still tempering them with the knowledge that there were Dads who had been working on this for months. Who have secret family tuning secrets that they'll never share which they've passed down through the generations. But still - hope was glimmering.

I got everyone registered and ready to go, and before long Denis came up in a heat. I was so nervous! And in looking at him I could tell he was too. The board dropped, and his car jumped out of the gate. The other cars closed, but he held them off. He won his heat! This was a first. And the smile on his face was a mile wide.

Next was Liam's turn. And he won too! Now the smile was on my face. I was one of the 'in' dads now. I had the secrets to pass to future generations of McGraths. Denis came up again, and won again. Liam ran again, and took second. Life was good. The last prelim heat was the nervewracker. Denis vs. Liam. Someone wasn't going to be happy. It was close, but Liam won, with Denis taking second.

So after the prelim rounds Denis and Liam were tied for the 6 seed out of 27 cars. I was ecstatic. We had still put almost no effort into the car, and they were among the fastest in the field. Awesome.

After the prelims are the elimination rounds. The top 3 come out of there and go to the finals. It took several rounds for Liam to come up. He ran, and came in a close second. So he was out. But still very pleased with his result.

Next was Denis. He ran, and also took second. He was now out also. And was he happy? Pleased with his incredible improvement from last year. Of course not! No - he was running out into the hallway near tears again.

I have to confess I was a little frustrated. He told me his car sucked. I couldn't believe it. We spent no time on the project, he was in the top 1/4 of the cars. He was way better than last year. And he was still mad. I'll never get him.

On the plus side, as we talked about it on the way home he perked up a bit. And when he told Mimi he left off the 'sucked' part. And today they both seem to have good feelings about the results.

And for me? The Access application I wrote to manage the process worked flawlessly. Including projecting heats up onto a screen so everyone could see who was racing. Many compliments from the parents. So I still rock.

But for both the cars and the software I've already got ideas for improvements for next year!

Can't wait!

More travel fun

I'm off at a conference in Salt Lake City this week. OK, technically it's Deer Valley, but close enough. Incredible area. The views are stunning, and the amount of wealth running around threatens to dwarf the mountains. No matter how well off you think you are, come out here for a week and you'll be feeling downright poor (at least by comparison).

I'm staying at a 'hotel' called The Chateaux at Silver Lake at Deer Valley. Quite the name, eh? And notice that I put the noun in quotes. There is good reason for this. Here's how check in went.

I go to the front desk. Perfectly normal. They take my credit card and give me a room key. Fine. I head off to my room (which, naturally, since I'm carrying all my ski equipment, is in another building). I get to the room, open the door, and look around. OK, this is a little different.

The first thing I see is my breakfast table. With 4 chairs. That's a little much for a hotel room.

Next impression is the cooking island. Huh? With bar stool. That, naturally, leads my eye to the kitchen. Not kitchenette, kitchen! How do I distinguish between the two? Well, if it's got a full size subzero refrigerator it ain't no stinkin' 'ette!'

And that's not all. This kitchen is complete. Oven. Pots and pans. Glasses and dishes. Microwave. Coffee maker. Blender!! Toaster. Coffee bean grinder! Probably more I didn't even find.

Wow! I am well on my way to being impressed. I'm a VIP presenter at the conference, and I'm starting to think that I got the seriously upgraded room.

This perception is short-lived.

After dropping my bags I look around for the bedroom. There are a bunch of interior doors. I open the coat closet by the door and it's the bathroom. OK. I'm flexible.

I try the next 4 doors. 3 are locked, and the last is the closet. And that's all the doors there are. Hmmmm. I scan the rest of the room. Couch. Coffee table. 2 chairs. Fireplace. All very nice, but, um, where the hell's my bedroom??

I call the front desk. "Hey guys, hate to bother you and all, but where exactly is my bedroom?"

"Oh, sir, you have a Murphy bed."

"OK, and is in the Murphy bedroom? Is this like the White House or something?"

"Oh, no, sir. You pull it out of the wall!"

"I what?"

"Pull it out of the wall."

It's about now that I notice the expanse of wall paneled is such a way that it doesn't really match the rest of the room. With two handles. You have got to be kidding me! But no. I pull it down and check it out. It's actually pretty comfortable. And it's nice to sleep on.

So it turns out this isn't really a hotel. They rent the rooms like one, but the rooms are condos owned by the various rich people I've been seeing around. When the owners come to visit, they open all those locked doors and have a lovely 3 bedroom, 3 bath, suite with a nice kitchen (that'd be my room!)

Thing is, though, if you have someone checking in to your 'hotel,' don't you think this is the kind of thing that you might mention? Or maybe not. Perhaps the only fun the staff has here is watching the hapless guests try to figure out where to sleep.

I wonder how many have ended up on the couch.

Stories from Geneva

I am now in a new role and work, with a new manager. This required a trip to Geneva to meet with him and my new Western European counterpart. It was a very productive trip from a business POV (which it had better be working 38 hours in 3 days). Clarified our roles and expectations. Gave ourselves titles. And Agreed to working principles. All good there.
The personal side was, as always, entertaining. Some small vignettes from the tour:

As usual, I arrived in the morning on a Tuesday, but didn't work that day. I stayed up as long as I could (6pm), slept as long as I could (7am) and did my best at work Wednesday. It worked fairly well. I was set to get a good long night's sleep on Wednesday night. It didn’t' happen. Dinner went late, but not too bad. I was back to the hotel at 10:30 and ready to sleep. So I set the alarm for 8 and fell into bed. I was sleeping soundly when the alarm went off. Only it was much louder that I am used to from my small watch. This was VERY loud and insistent. BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. I grabbed for my watch, fumbled with the buttons, but the beeping didn’t stop. It was about now that I realized that the TV was on. OK. Strange. I didn't turn it on the previous evening. But there it was, glowing the in the dark of the room. And as I started to come into consciousness I realized that the beeping was also coming from the TV set. My only thought was "I have to turn off the TV!" I didn't know why it had decided to switch itself on, but I wanted it off. I had a vague fear that this was some kind of emergency - the hotel was on fire maybe? No idea. I fumbled for the light switch, turned it on, and saw the remote next to the TV set. I reached for it, still in a panic, yet finally able to read the words on the screen. "You have a message from the front desk!" WHAT?!?!! A message. NOW? [Picture John McEnroe] "You can NOT be serious!" But sure enough. Enter my room number - 404 - and here's the payoff. Someone has left me a present. How nice. Now shut the hell up and let me get back to bed! To bed, but not to sleep. That's lost to me now. Shit.

After work on Thursday I went to dinner at a Thai restaurant. You know how everyone complains that service in Europe is horrible? Well here's why: 1. When we arrive at the restaurant it's 8:30. It's a medium-sized place. Maybe 15 tables. Only 1 is occupied. We approach the head water and say we have two for dinner. He asks - incredulous - "You do not have a reservation??" Um, no. But seeing as you have FOURTEEN EMPTY TABLES perhaps you could see it in the goodness of your heart to seat us anyway, eh? 2. After graciously agreeing to seat us, we are asked if we'd prefer smoking to non-smoking. Non-smoking, naturally. You have to wonder where they'll put the smokers since it's really just one big room. Perhaps there's another room off to the side for the smokers. Me? I don't have to wonder. I know where they put the smokers - AT THE TABLE NEXT TO US! You know, why even waste the breath asking the question? Since he's probably a smoker himself he should probably ration his oxygen. 3. I order my meal. Pad Thai. Not too adventurous, I know. But I like it, and don't have it too often, so I don't feel bad ordering it. After I place my order I was ready to be asked how spicy I want it. I am not asked. OK. So since the waitress speaks English (I'm not about to try this in French) I tell her - I'd like it to a medium level of spiciness. She looks in my direction; and walks away. The meal comes out shortly. My first thought is how well they've spiced it. My question is quickly answered by the waitress, who shows up carrying a small bowl of chili-peppers in an oil mix. Ah, the message is now clear. "OK, Mr. Picky, you want medium spice? Well spice it your damn self!" Lovely. I wonder - if I had wanted clean dishes would I have been given a wash rag?

I had considered getting Mimi an expensive watch for Christmas. Perhaps a Rolex. But soon after I had the thought I ran into a couple who owned them. They said many nice things about them - marvels of engineering, never needs batteries, can dive to any depth, and so on. Then, after laying it on for a bit come out with the other side. Oh yeah, the only thing is they don't keep time very well... Um, pardon me? Isn't it, well, a watch? And one of the most expensive ones on the planet? Isn't it's purpose to tell you what time it is? It would seem not. It will lose 1-2 seconds a day. A DAY! My $20 Casio won't lose that in a year. But the Rolex? Every day. Precision engineering, that. Well, I'm telling this story to my new boss, and my usual exaggerative manner, and I get to the part about them not telling time and I toss out "And it turns out they're pieces of shit! Damn things can't even keep time!" I was watching his expression, and knew that something was up, but kept ranting for another few minutes anyway. Finally, when I finished, and the new boss couldn't contain himself any more, he jumps into the conversation. "Oh, no, Denis. They are such amazing instruments. They are works of art!" "Uh, yeah. Works of art that don't tell time. Why not buy a painting and a Casio instead?" You can imagine where this conversation went. So after all the dust settles? Yup - new boss owns a Rolex! Several, in fact. Actually, he's a watch collector! Damn! Talk about the wrong foot. He will never wear a watch that requires a battery. The watch on his wrist has a story behind it - some kind of antique. Can't say I really listened to the story. Fun stuff. The cool thing is, though, that even though we held differing points of view, I love hearing people talk about their passions. Doesn't matter what it is. Sports, intellectual pursuits, hobbies, whatever. If they love it, and express themselves well, it's fun to hear. I'm still not in the market for a Rolex though.

Marathon Weekend

Mimi and I headed up to NY for the NYC Marathon this weekend. Naturally, she was running, and I was pit crew. This has been our arrangement for all 5 of her marathons. For the weekend, she's the elite athlete, and my job is to make sure that everything is taken care of for her so she can focus on the race.

Seems only fair since she takes care of me the other 51 weeks.

We got up early, met Kathleen at the airport, and got into NY right on time. A quick cab ride and a metro and we were at Uncle Jimmy's work. We dumped our bags and grabbed lunch with him. There was an Irish bar/grill nearby called O Farrell's. According to U Jim it used to be a favorite of my Dad's. How could I turn that down? And it was great. Good food. Good beer. I decided I was going to enjoy the weekend.

The Expo was OK. Nothing special. No great deals to be had. A bunch of marathon stuff at full list price. So I didn't get anything. But we did pick up all the required loot, then went back to see U Jim.

Jimmy drove us off to NJ, where we were meeting up with U Tom and family for a little party for Mimi. It was very nice. Quite a few people stopped in. It's always fun hanging out with the family. They are all extremely entertaining. When everyone had left, Terry, U Tom, and I headed out to the local bar for a couple drinks. Getting U Tom by himself is a treat. He's got a ton of good stories, and is very good at telling them all. I got a few nice ones about my Dad, which is fun.

We crashed at U Tom's for the evening, then had him drive us into the City the next morning. We checked into our hotel (got our room with 2 double beds!) and grabbed lunch. Then Tom headed back into Jersey, and Mimi and I went shopping.

I got Mimi hooked on SKII skin care products a few years back. It's an expensive habit. She had a $50 Saks gift card, so we went there to restock her supply. After a brief evaluation, she got 3 items. And her gift card covered about 10% of the cost. Ouch. But there's the Christmas present!

After that it was souvenirs for the kids. We scored most of them, but broke off the trip because we had been walking too much. I didn't want Mimi's legs to be dead, so I strongly encouraged her to head back to the hotel and relax. When Terry came in to join us he and I finished off the shopping.

Dinner was at a nice Italian restaurant. Good food. Awful service. Guy had a real NY attitude. But I enjoyed my meal, and Mimi got her carbs. So we were both OK.

Back at the hotel we had the standard pre-race panics. What should I wear? What should I bring with? Where will we meet after? Terry and I calmed them as much as we could. But it was never going to manage all their jitters. Terry took off for NJ around 10, and we all went to bed soon after. It was not the best sleep.

Kathleen and Mimi woke early, got dressed, and snuck out without really waking me. Quite considerate! I got up with the alarm at 8, and Terry came by soon after. He brought me my coffee and doughnut. Great guy, Terry! We headed off to start our half of the adventure. We got onto the subway, and immediately ran into some other pit crews. We exchanged info on our athletes, made reciprocal cheering arrangements (What's she wearing? What's her name? OK - we'll look for her!), and shared viewing strategies. Ours was to go to 4, 8, 16, 22, 25, and the finish. This would be a record for viewing stops. All credit to Terry for working out the details!

We got to 4 early. We saw the lead men go through. We saw Lance. Then we saw Mimi and Kathleen! Right where we expected them. It was perfect. We were getting cocky about our abilities already. After a quick cheer and a hi-5 they were back to their race and we were back to the subway.

We got to 8, and found a good viewing location. So far there wasn't much of a crowd. Enough people to make the runners feel good, but not too many so that it made our life difficult. Again, right on time, they came through. We did our best to pep them up, and then we were both off to our next stop.

At this point, both of them were looking very strong. They looked happy. As if they were really enjoying themselves. As for Terry and I - we were definitely enjoying ourselves! We were doing the standard marathon cheer. Wait for someone to come by with a name on the shirt. Cheer loudly for them. And get rewarded with a smile or wave. It brings such a good feeling.

The trek to 16 was long. It took us nearly an hour to get there. Thankfully it took them even longer. This was our first challenge of the day. Coming off the Queesnboro bridge the spectator density is the highest on the whole course. They were lined up 5-6 deep here. And they were back behind barriers. Both were new sights for me. And not welcome ones. This was where I was planning on jumping in to pace Mimi for a bit. Damn!

I decided to simply appeal to the good nature of a few spectators and asked if I could jump in front while I waited for my wife. Let's see. Where was I again? Oh yeah. NY. Yeah. That didn't work so well. You'd think I had just asked for the keys to his car. Oh well. When in Rome and all. So I just pushed past him and dared him to do anything about it. He grumbled and complained, but didn't do anything.

It took 10 minutes of frantic scanning to find them. And then it was just Kathleen. I hurdled the barrier, crossed the street, and met up with her. She said Mimi wasn't feeling well and had dropped off the pace. That wasn't good news. She was really hoping to run fast this time. Oh well. I let Kathleen go and waited for Mimi. It was a little awkward. Here I am standing on the side of the road. Inside the barriers. Within eyesight of a cluster of policemen. Not running. No number. Luckily they behaved a NYC's finest are reputed to. They saw nothing.

A couple minutes later Mimi can by. And Kathleen was right. She didn't look good any more. She wasn't smiling. And she sure as hell wasn't talking. And she had 10 miles to go. This is exactly why I don't do marathons! I jumped in and started a stream of one-sided conversations. Told her all about the day so far. What Terry and I had been up to. Who we had met. She didn't so much as look at me. Not good.

It didn't take long for us to get to mile 22 in Harlem. I knew Terry wasn't thrilled about us meeting there. "Not a nice neighborhood" was how he described it. But not too bad at noon on race day. He survived. As we got close to the point where I was to drop out I decided Mimi needed a little more support. So when I spotted Terry I yelled out "I'm sticking with her. I'll see you at mile 25!" He didn't have time to reply before we were gone.

I kept running and talking. Trying anything I could think of to keep her mind off the pain and discomfort. I don't know how it went for her, but it went by very quickly for me. Before I knew it we were at mile 25. And it was packed again! I ran past looking for Terry, but never did see him. No issue there. I wouldn't have been able to get off the course anyway. I kept running, but by now all I was doing was looking at the barriers. As soon as I spotted one of the shorter ones I wished Mimi luck and jumped off the course.

As I crossed the street to get to the side I walked up to a couple watching the race. I said "Well, that's enough for me!" And prepared to hop the fence. The look on their faces was incredulity. "Are you sure?" they asked. "It's less than 1/2 mile to the finish." They thought I had run 25.7 miles and was quitting with 800 meters to go! No wonder they were shocked. I explained that I was just pacing my wife and ran off to find her.

By this point I had been on my feet all day, and had run 11 miles or so. Way more than I had planned. I was tired out. But I needed to get to the finish. A park ranger was kind enough to direct me to a tunnel that took me out of the park, and I went to our arranged meeting place. There was nobody there to meet. I walked up and down the block a couple times. Still nobody. I ran over a few blocks to see if they had misunderstood the plan. Nobody. Finally, after about an hour of searching (and freezing my a** off in my slightly damp running clothes) I saw Kathleen. They were forced to take a different exit from the park, and Mimi wasn't strong enough to walk down to the meeting place. OK - but where was Terry? Like a bad joke, he was waiting 10 yards from me on the other side of the dump trucks blocking the street. With all my nice warm clothes in the pack on his back. Man I wish I had walked around the trucks one last time!

We got Mimi - who was indeed in bad shape, got to Kathleen's friend's apartment, and everyone got warmed up. Then Terry was off for NJ, and Mimi and I were off to the hotel. We figured to just take a cab, but there were none to be found. So even though I hated to, we took the subway. You know those stories you hear about rush hour subways in Japan? The scene was kinda like that. Only with stinky, sweaty, tired runners. I felt sorry for them. A woman on the train had a subway map, so I looked it over and picked our exit on 59th. When I gave it back to her she mentioned that she had just finished (pretty obvious, actually) and that she lost her friend and didn't know how to get to her apartment. It was on our way, so I offered for her to follow up. It took no extra time on our part, but you could tell that it meant the world to her. Without some support, I'm guessing she would have just sat down on the curb and cried. In fact she did cry when we got her to her friend. What a great feeling.

We both got showered and into clean clothes, then headed out to our celebration dinner. My cousin Kevin joined us for it. A very nice meal. Ocean Grill on Columbus. Great waiter. Decent food. And OK prices. Mimi learned that Kevin waited on tons of celebrities and that was it for her for the evening. Every question from that point on centered on who he'd met and what they were like. She got her People fix for the next month.

Kevin wanted to take us out for some entertainment afterwards, and to my surprise, Mimi was up for it. He took us to two amazing piano bars. Incredible performers. A level of quality you just don't get in Cincinnati. We stayed until about closing. Then Kevin poured us into a cab to get us back to the hotel. We got to bed late, and both woke up tired and hung over.

Mimi got off to LGA to get back to Cincinnati, and I sit here typing in the lounge at JFK on my way to Geneva. It was a wonderful weekend. We're sore, tired, beat up, but wouldn't have traded it for anything. And I've come away with an appreciation for how wonderful family can be. Between U Jimmy, U Tom, Terry, Kevin, and all the others who made us feel so welcomed we feel very blessed to have such a large and wonderful family.

Now - no beer for a week, and no running for at least that long!

I know it's not nice to make fun of older people's lack of computer skills, but I just have to share this one.

Mimi and I are going to NY for the Marathon, so I asked Uncle Tom for a list of emails of local relatives.

I asked because he regularly sends out emails to these folks, so I thought it would be an easy task.

First I get an email back saying that he's not computer adept so it'll take a while.

Then I get a call asking for my fax number (!)

Then I get the following email. He's written down everyone's address. Then scanned the page or took a picture of it. Then mailed it to me.

OMG.

I mean, c'mon. The kicker here is that I am 99+% sure he got the email addresses off his computer. And instead of copying and pasting into an email message body he goes this rube goldberg approach.

I am now officially scared of how the kids are going to make fun of me when I'm 75.

Liam got a new telescope from his book order from school. Magnification up to 50x. He spent an hour today looking through it at the nature in the backyard and making the observations below. Nobody asked him to. He just thought it would be fun. Oh. Yeah. And he's 7. [To be fair - I did correct some of his spelling errors!]

Pine bush log up close is orange from sunlight.

Tree’s leaves look like faces when looking through the holes in the openings.

When a bunch of leaves up close are moving in the wind, it looks like the leaves are joining together in the millions.

The colorful leaves look like a beautiful art picture.

Up close, leaves look like huge nuts in the grass.

Cuts in the big tree, make the tree look like a nice tan smooth piece of a log.

Branches look like big snakes slithering to the trees.

The leaves in the background make all the leaves swirl violently