Bathroom Break

A few months ago, the 8-year-old had a sudden bout of bed-wetting. This was odd. He'd been potty trained for years. I chalked it up to the fact that Mimi was out of the country and that he was just a bit out of sorts.

When Mimi came back it stopped. Well, almost. There were a couple more small accidents. But he's been dry for the last couple months.

Last night I was the last one downstairs. Mimi was already in bed with the lights out. So I turned out the downstairs lights, and stumbled up in the dark. When I got to my sink I started to get ready to brush my teeth - still with the lights off to be considerate. I was just about to start when I heard some movement, then saw that the light had gone on downstairs.

Now I don't know what would bring Mimi downstairs since she was already in bed, but hell, since she was up there was no reason to brush in the dark. I flipped the light on, and immediately saw Mimi lying in bed! OK. That's odd. If Mimi's there, who is downstairs?

I put down the toothbrush and walked downstairs. As I turned the corner into the kitchen I see Liam. He's standing in front of the trash can, penis in his hand, peeing!!!!! Right into the trash. Well, not right in, of course. He's still 90% asleep, and his aim isn't so good. But mostly into the trash can. Huh.

"Liam!" I yell. "What are you doing?" Poor kid. He's asleep. "What?" is the only reply he can muster. "Why are you peeing in the trash?" You can guess the response: "What?" I can tell this is going to be a productive conversation! So what can I do?

I just wait for him to finish, tell him to get a paper towel and clean up his misses, and send him off to wash his hands. He finished all his tasks in a daze and stumbled up to bed, still totally out.
Before I went to bed I went into his room. He was still 'awake.' I teased him a little bit "Hey Liam, if you have to go to the bathroom again, could I get you to do me a small favor and get you to pee in the toilet?" Naturally his response: "What?"

This morning I pulled him aside and asked him if he remembered last night. Oh sure, he said. I made a sign for my lemonade sale this weekend. No, I tell him. After that. He had no recollection whatsoever. No surprise there.

You should have seen his face when I told him what he did. He was stunned. He couldn't have been more shocked if I had told him he flew during the night. The only problem was he seemed to think it was kind of cool. He had the slightest smile on his face. I can see the wheels turning. "Man! If I just pretend to be asleep I can get away with anything!" I'm going to have to be careful for the next few weeks!