Denis and Death
There has been a lot of death hovering over the house lately. Most of it not horrific, but it's always a tough topic. Mimi's sister's dog had to be put down recently. Denis' pet fish died. And Mimi's father has been very ill and has recently come out of a rough heart surgery.
Each one individually is a tough thing to have. Together they got to the point where they were weighing heavily on Denis' mind. I didn't really have any idea that it was affecting him until after getting out of the shower the other night he was waiting for me. He was very quiet and subdued. I asked him what was going on and he choked out "I'm scared of death!"
That's a tough one! What kind of answer do you give an 11 year old on that topic? I tried the "everything lives and everything dies" approach with little success. I tried the "You'll see everything again in Heaven" approach. That worked a little better when I confirmed that yes, his fish will be waiting for him there.
In the end I think he just realized that I didn't have the perfect answer on this one, but that talking it out made him feel a little better. I am glad he felt better, but I have to say I feel like I failed him a bit on this one.
Anyone else have any ideas?
2 comments:
Sometimes there's only so much you can do as a parent. He'll find out as he gets older that there are lots of different answers to that question. In no way did you fail him. If anything, you left this open-ended so he can figure it out on his own. Some things they just have to find out for themselves.
This is a tough one, Denis. I'm not a parent (so really, what do i know? :-), but maybe ask him some questions about what he might "really" be scared of. Is it pain? Is it that he'll miss family/friends? Maybe something else. In any event, you certainly haven't failed him. You and Mimi have great kids and are really excellent parents! -Wayne
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